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The numbers don't lie and you are still in shock. You just received your year-to-date budget reports and only a few weeks are left in your fiscal year. The total giving this year is about the same as last year. While this isn't a crisis, you can't help feeling exhausted. In the quiet of your office you can hear your mind whisper the questions. After all that work and all the new things we tried? After all those newsletters I personally wrote? After all that work on those fundraising events? What are we missing?
The surprising answers have nothing to do with working harder or launching new programs. In fact, in a big way you are the answer to your own questions. Here's a few specific thoughts.
1. IF YOU DON'T GROW, NEITHER WILL YOUR MINISTRY.
I find that most people in leadership roles in ministry serve because they are called and have a heart or passion for the work and vision. They have a can-do attitude and can get things moving. Their God-given sense of calling makes them available and ready to serve Him.
But, as the years go by, a lack of skills or growth in some key areas can hold the ministry back. John Maxwell calls this is the "Leadership Law of the Lid," which says that an organization will never go higher than the leader is able to grow their skills. Casting vision, building relationships, and growing a culture of giving are all leadership skills that can easily fail to thrive if not carefully grown.
We humans are very good at self deception. Without being completely aware of it, we will find ways to do everything but actions that create a culture of growth toward a vision. We will fill our days with "good" things to do, frustrated there isn't enough time to do the very "best" things to do. All while avoiding anything in the world that smells like something awkward or uncomfortable.
I know that is true is because I can sit in my office with a list of people to call and talk myself out of calling every one of them. So if that's true of me, someone who is driven and committed to what I am doing couldn't this be true of you as well?
Knowing this about yourself and your team members will help you live free of frustration and bitterness and be much more intentional about growing your skills as a leader. The good news is that it is actually possible to learn to connect who you are with the work of development and grow a culture of generous giving to your ministry vision.
2. IT'S NOT HOCUS LOCUS, IT'S WHERE YOU PUT YOUR FOCUS.
Focus less on the idea of raising money from the community and more on helping people catch a vision for the impact your ministry will have on the lives of people you serve.
You can start by sharing the amazing news that your ministry is located in this region. Your story is about a ministry that is emerging and changing the lives of people in your community. Use language that describes how God is working through your approach to impact people. You're looking for people willing to get engaged in growing the awareness that God is using your ministry in a transformational way in the lives of individual people.
Explain how you are working to see your ministry become a force to be reckoned with in your community. Help others understand you are trying to grow relationships that grow the reach and influence of your ministry. Talk about moving forward or advancing toward your vision more than fundraising or needing money. Commitments come through people getting committed to your vision, and that happens through your growing influence in the community.
3. ASK MORE QUESTIONS, GET MORE INFLUENCE.
The key to your growing effectiveness and impact is knowing that the primary currency you're after is not money, but influence.
In order to do this, you have to take personal responsibility for sharing your plan for the future. I once worked with a leader who was a visionary, and was very good at working strategically inside the organization. I took the personal responsibility for truly clarifying our vision in the form of a plan. I didn't feel like what was being communicating was really was landing very well in our community so I started taking more ownership in crafting how we were going to communicate our vision.
I began by interviewing our key leader. I asked him to take an hour with me and let me interview him about our vision and began to craft that into a really clear and concise message. Then, I worked through the editing process with the leader. I wanted the two of us to be exactly on the same page on how we were communicating our vision.
He began to trust that I was "getting it." He knew I wasn't going to be out there somewhere off-script, but that I would be telling his story. You must do whatever is takes to pull the vision out of your heart or the people around you and get it on paper!
Then, I started spending most of my time face to face with people building relationships. I spent a lot of time asking people what their vision was and trying to find out what they knew about our organization. Then I would introduce a small glimpse of our vision and where we were trying to go. Then I would ask how they would do this work if they were in my shoes. I focused more on the growing currency of influence than the currency of money, and the influence and reach of our ministry began to expand rapidly, along with the generous giving we desperately needed.
As we coach leaders through Development and Leadership Coaching, we have three effective questions we teach them to ask on their first meeting with people of influence or prospective donors:
* What is your vision for this ministry?
* What advice do you have for me?
* Who do you think I need to be talking to?
When you ask these questions, be sure they see you taking notes because that let's them know you are taking them seriously. Also, this gives you the opportunity to follow-up later and tell them you heard them. When they give you names of people to connect with, be sure you reach out to them. It is your follow-up efforts, more than anything else, that build the currency of influence.
4. KEEP BUILDING YOUR SKILLS
Leadership has been defined as "getting the right things done through others." If you are a leader seeking to grow giving and enable your ministry to move forward toward its vision, then the process of getting the right things done begins with you. Keep building your skills in growing relationships and influence, and God will use the people you are connecting with to accomplish miraculous things.
BUILD GIVING. UNLOCK HEARTS. GET MOVING.
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Some Senior Substitutions - A 'Kim Possible' fanfic
Story Written by Freedom Fighter
For months, I've been debating whether or not to actually write this mini-series.
It's a three-parter starring three gorgeous girls, and none of them is named Kim Possible! Okay, well, Kim's in the story, but she's not the star. Many people write stories about the red-headed world saver, but often dabble very little in fanfics on the other characters of the show. I mean, the only other person who gets as much press as Kim in fanfiction is Ron. And we know he can't be the star of this fanfic because he's not a girl.
Though one wonders sometimes...
Kidding, kidding! Anyway, each chapter is told in the point-of-view of two characters: the 'focus' gal lead and a second character. For Chapter One, the story will be told from the perspectives of Monique and Wade.
Enjoy, and don't forget to leave a review/e-mail me comments!
Disclaimer: The characters of the cartoon "Kim Possible" don't belong to me at all, but they can be used for whatever reasons and situations I deem necessary.
Because as a fanfiction writer, I have that kind of power.
Fanfic Rating: PG just to be safe, but there should be nothing harsher than what you see in the show.
Timeline Advisories: In terms of my fanfiction, this takes place many months after "Dangerous Girls." Good thing is... you need not to have read that to enjoy this fanfic, as this is a stand-alone story. In terms of the cartoon series, this takes place a week prior to "So the Drama." Which you should've seen already if you live in North America, so you're all set there, too.
"Some Senior Substitutions - Part 1 of 3" (09.12.05)
(Monique's POV)
The sound of all of the lights in the room flickering on awakened me from my gas-induced slumber. As I groggily attempted to get my bearings straight, I winced at the strain that was being put on my limbs. Glancing up towards the ceiling, I saw that my hands were tied together at the wrists by a rope that was harshly chafing my skin. The same feeling greeted me down below, as I saw my legs tied at the ankles in a similar fashion.
But also tied up by those same ropes were two other sets of arms and legs.
Sets that belonged to my partners who had accompanied me on this mission to the infiltration of the stronghold that we were prisoners in. At first, I was expecting that it would be Kim and Ron, who were used to going around the world and saving it on a daily basis. And, on occasion, getting captured.
But then I noticed it wasn't them and remembered that their absence was the reason I was even leading this team of rookies in the first place. Between us, you could count all of the world-saving missions we have been on on one hand! So we should've figured that getting captured was an inevitable, if not welcome, certainty.
Suddenly, I heard the groans of my two fellow operatives as they regained consciousness. I turned my head to the right first and saw Zita Flores, an ex-girlfriend of Ron's, come to life.
"What Level-50 warrior ran us over?" Zita, an avid RPG player, asked jokingly as she began to survey the surroundings. "And... what kind of evil lair is this?"
I followed Zita's gaze as we noticed this particular villain's hideout was brightly lighted and exquisitely designed, to our surprise. The lair seemed to have everything: exotic plants, a state-of-the-art indoor and outdoor security system, a piranha-filled stream below that split the room in two, and...
"A diamond-encrusted disco ball?" I remarked, noticing it hanging from the ceiling about 20 feet away. "Okay... this guy obviously's rollin' in dough."
"Like I care," came the quip from the girl on my left, Bonnie Rockwaller, co-captain of the varsity cheerleading squad and Kim's rival. "Besides, what kind of foolhardy millionaire would put all of this stuff on an island in the middle of the ocean where he has no one to show it off to?"
"The kind with a penchant for world domination, that's what!" I answered.
"Ah, but you are wrong, young ladies," stated the voice of our captor, who sounded kind of raspy. And old.
"Who the..." I wondered out loud, but he quickly answered before I could finish, as he stepped out from the automatic doorway and entered the room.
"I am a billionaire," he said, "and far from foolhardy, I can assure you."
It was then that we got our first look at our target. The guy Wade had sent us to stop. Unfortunately, he looked better in his wanted poster, as we saw he was a gray-haired old man with a walking stick. A stylin' old man, I must say, as he was wearing some very nice, polyester threads. At least
clothing-wise, he wasn't afraid to pimp his wardrobe out.
But though the fashion part of me was impressed by his style, the rest of me was appalled that we had been captured by a guy several times our age.
"Eewww..." Bonnie cried out. "Kim is an enemy of this guy? She sure picks the strangest people to have as enemies. Not to mention the weirdest crushes."
"She's so lost," Zita smiled, rolling her eyes.
"Typical vapid cheerleader," I smirked.
"Hey!"
"So..." our captor cut in, "you know Kim Possible, yes?"
"Yeah!" I shouted. "And what's it to ya?"
"Allow me to introduce myself. I am Seor Senior, Sr. And this is my humble abode. Nice, no?"
"For a snobby rich guy, anyway," Bonnie noted.
"I thought Kim Possible could do anything. But the fact that she sends three amateurs to stop my latest plan for world conquest disappoints me."
"Well, us three amateurs are going to break free and stop your evil scheme!"
I shouted defiantly.
"I sincerely doubt that, young lady, especially since none of you possess Kim Possible's physical and mental abilities for getting out of tough scrapes.
And even if, by some odd chance, Kim Possible is on the way to save you, she'll find that she'll have no choice but to surrender if she wants to save her friends."
"Did you say Kim Possible?" a second, much younger voice asked as he entered the room. "Is my yellow trout here?"
Senior shook his head in disgust as a black-haired young man with tan skin, presumably his son, came into the light.
"How many times must I tell you, Junior! No fraternizing with the enemy! It is forbidden in the rules of villainy!"
"But father!"
"Quiet! Don't you see we have guests?"
Senior pointed towards us, and instantly 'Junior' started giggling like a schoolgirl.
"This is too good to be true, father! You have brought me three lovely ladies to court!"
"Do we look like mail-order brides to you?" I shouted.
"As if we're that desperate," noted Zita.
"Lighten up, you two!" Bonnie told us. "After all... he is kinda cute."
"You see, father?" 'Junior' exclaimed, jumping up and down. "They are entranced by my smashing good looks and sense of 'it' style."
"Junior, if that is so, they why do I not see any of them asking you out?"
"Ooh, ooh!" Bonnie exclaimed, much to my surprise. Okay, maybe it wasn't that surprising considering it was her. "Promise to let me go, and I'll go steady with you. Besides, these two losers here don't have much of a chance anyway."
"Hey!" Zita and I yelled simultaneously.
'Junior' scratched his head for a second, and then came up with, what must have been to him, a good idea.
"How about I date all three of you at once? We could do it just like that show where the guy romances several girls at once, and then eliminates the ones he doesn't like until he's left with his one true love!"
We all gasped in horror at the thought. Yep, even Bonnie, who just seconds ago seemed past the point of caring about us. Or maybe she just thought of us as extra baggage.
"Junior!" Senior said, whacking his son on the head with his cane. "They are friends of Kim Possible! I forbid you to date any of them!"
"Why do you do this to me, father? I can't date Kim Possible, I can't date her friends... do you not want to me to get down with a member of the opposite sex?"
"Son, you must understand..."
As Senior began lecturing his son about how the rules of love had exceptions because of the rules of being some maniacal billionaire trying to take over the world, I noticed Zita glancing around the room, as if she was searching for something.
"What are you looking for?" I asked.
"Some way to get out of this dungeon!" she replied.
"Well, make it snappy..." Bonnie said, "my skin is starting to chafe. And you know I won't accept anything but perfection."
"I'm afraid you have more important things to worry about than any mere skin condition," Senior said aloud, having turned his attention back to us.
We watched as he reached for a lever on a nearby control panel and pulled it down. I distinctively heard a machine come to life, and then noticed that we were beginning to be lowered from the ceiling.
And towards the stream filled with piranha below. Hungry piranha.
"Okay... anyone have any bright ideas?" I questioned my partners.
As I waited for them to respond, my mind began to wander. Back to a few hours ago.
Back to where this whole thing started...
[Two hours ago, Middleton High School]
I was patiently waiting by the flagpole outside of school, in the courtyard.
Waiting for Kim and Ron to get out of cheerleading practice. We were going to go hang out at Bueno Nacho for some snackage, then go to Kim's house to do some studying for Friday's physics test.
I had been there for about fifteen minutes, wondering if they had forgotten.
Or if practice had just ran long. I was seriously contemplating going to the gym and trying to find them.
But suddenly my cell phone started ringing. Ringing to the beat of my favorite song, "Supernatural." That's my jam! Anyway... to my surprise, it was Wade, Kim's boy genius inventor, that was calling me. At least, that's what my caller ID said.
"How did you get my number?" I asked, a little upset.
"That's not important," Wade answered. "I need your help with something."
"Okay... I guess."
"Good. Remember the time when you went with Kim to Australia, sitting in for Ron when he moved to Norway?"
"Pardon? Ron's never been to Norway. And I've never sat in for him."
"What? Oh, right... the whole time travel conundrum. Anyway, my point is, Kim's busy with something, so I need you to assist her."
I raised an eyebrow in suspicion. "In what way?"
"To save the world, of course!"
I had to stop for a second to process Wade's last statement. "Did you just tell me to do what I think you told me to do?"
"Yes."
"Are you crazy? Kim's got that cheerleading mojo and kung-fu action! I've got nothing!"
"Don't worry... I'll guide you and the others along the way. It'll be easy."
"Wait a minute... others?"
"Well, I figure there's strength in numbers. And I've got just the two partners for you."
A few minutes later, I was racing around the school grounds trying to find my two 'partners.' Zita and Bonnie. Finding Bonnie was easy... she was in the gym with the rest of the cheerleading squad. Minus Kim and Ron, apparently.
Locating Zita was a much more daunting task, but I got lucky when I spotted her by the auditorium, chatting with some of her online friends.
My next task was convincing them to come along with me, even though I didn't know fully what we were exactly getting into ourselves. It took some doing...
and deal-making... to persuade them to follow me to the A/V room.
It was there that Wade managed to uplink to one of the TVs so he could explain the situation to us.
"That's amazing," Zita gasped, impressed by Wade's prowess at technology.
"So you're the little dude Kim takes orders from?" Bonnie asked him. "What are you... like, seven?"
"Ten," corrected Wade, "and I don't give her orders. I just help her."
"Fine, fine, whatever, can we get to the point of this whole... thing that Kim apparently can't handle herself?"
"I'm curious too," I said to Wade. "Just what kind of mission are you sending us on? And you're sending us there instead of Kim for what reason?"
"Allow me to explain..."
(Wade's POV)
I typed a command or two on my computer so that the video I was about to show them popped up on the right side of their screen. I wanted to make sure they knew what they were about to go through.
And even if they were apprehensive, I could assure them that Kim would be there as soon as she could. Which she told me when I contacted her ten minutes ago.
Pressing one last button on my keyboard, the video began to play, and I narrated as Monique, Zita, and Bonnie watched.
"Kim and Ron are over in Mongolia. Apparently, Doctor Drakken believes they have nuclear-powered technology and wants to use it to create a massive explosive device of the highest caliber. Probably to hold some unsuspecting county for ransom."
"Doctor who?" Monique asked.
"Doctor Drakken," I repeated, pulling up a photo of him.
"He's blue..."
"And freaky," Bonnie added. "This guy wants to rule the world? Ha... not with that scar on his face."
"Anyway, they were on their way there when I got another distress call...
this one from Europe!"
"You're sending us to France, aren't you?" Bonnie asked, excitedly. "I take back everything bad I said about you!"
"You said something bad about me?"
"Don't take it so bad," Zita spoke up. "She says something bad about pretty much everyone."
I rolled my eyes. "Anyway... it seems Seor Senior, Sr. and Seor Senior, Jr.
are creating a ray gun powerful enough to melt the polar ice caps near Spain.
Apparently, they want to turn it into their own winter wonderland."
Punching a few more buttons on my keyboard, I showed them a picture of Senior.
They weren't too pleased.
"Excuse me?" Bonnie said. "We have to fight some old guy with a stick?"
"He looks pretty harmless to me," commented Zita. "That photo almost makes me want to send him a gift basket."
"This guy seriously can't be one of Kim's bad guys, can it?" Monique wondered.
"Having a lot of boredom and nothing to do in retirement can do that to a guy, I guess."
"He doesn't look so harmless," Monique said. "Okay, I'm in! Girls?"
"I've always wanted to go on one of Kim's missions, believe it or not," Zita admitted. "I'm in too!"
I turned to Bonnie, and so did Monique and Zita. Sighing in defeat, she nodded in agreement.
"Fine... I'll go along with this 'adventure,' but Kim's so gonna owe me for this."
"Good, because it's time to go. I've already arranged a ride to Seor Senior, Senior's island, located in the eastern part of the Atlantic Ocean."
"You did?" Monique asked me. "With whom?"
"Just look outside," I told them.
I watched as the three girls looked at each other and then ran out of the room.
I smiled as I ended the transmission and leant back in my chair to relax.
"Dad was right... girls are more susceptible to listening to younger guys."
(Monique's POV) [Fifteen minutes ago, somewhere over the Atlantic]
After a long trip, we were finally approaching the island where the Seniors called home. Now dressed in mission clothing and with parachutes on our back, I slowly pulled open the side door to the plane.
The plane that we were about to jump out of it. From a good 20,000 feet in the air.
"Okay, there's no way I jumping from this height!" I screamed.
"Totally," Bonnie agreed. "My life insurance so doesn't cover this!"
"She said it was safe!" Zita exclaimed, the only one of us apparently not afraid to jump. "Just jump, count to ten, then pull the cord and your parachute comes out! This is a piece of cake!"
"There's no way I'm jumping out of this plane!" I said, putting my foot down.
"Does Kim want us to commit suicide or something?" Bonnie yelled. "Because that's what she's doing here, you know."
"You two are such chickens!" Zita laughed as she pushed Bonnie out of the plane.
"Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!"
Before I could even blink, I felt Zita grab me by the arms and push me out as well. I was freefalling towards the ocean below, waving my arms around in a panic and screaming at the top of my lungs. Screaming so loud, apparently, I couldn't even hear myself as the wind whipped around me. I was getting ready to close my eyes and hope for some miracle, that out of the blue someone would come and rescue me. Preferably Kim.
But in one short instant, I realized that was not going to be. If I was going to survive this freefall, I had to reach for my parachute cord.
Extending my arm back, I tried to locate it without my eyes able to guide me. It took a failed grasp or two, but I finally grabbed onto it. Pulling on it with all my might, I heard the whoosh of the parachuting open... and subsequently causing my back to snap back as my freefall was almost halted completely.
Catching my breath as I now slowly drifted down to Earth, I unconsciously started to look around for where Bonnie and Zita were. Bonnie was just a little bit below me, and I saw Zita guiding her parachute towards me.
"Wasn't that fun?" Zita yelled, giddy.
"Tell me when it's over," I said, thinking about closing my eyes the rest of the way down.
Once we finally made it to the ground, to my relief, we ditched the backpacks and ran towards the front gate. The darkness of night had managed to keep anyone from detecting our approach from afar, but with searchlights roaming around the gates, getting in was going to be a lot harder than I thought.
"Figures," I said, "The rich always seem to have the toughest security systems."
"It'll be hard to stop this guy if we can't get in," Zita commented.
"We're not spies, you know," Bonnie said, walking right towards the gate.
"Bonnie, girl, what are you doing?" I asked in a panic.
"Ringing the doorbell like any normal person!"
Bonnie did just that, before Zita or I could run over to stop her. Unfortunately, we were in time to have a trap door open up below us, plummeting into the darkness below.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" we all screamed.
[Present Time]
Hmmm... now I'm wishing I hadn't agreed to go on that mission. Especially with us just seconds from being ripped to shreds by man-eating piranha!
"Kim is so, so going to pay for this!" Bonnie yelled at the top of her lungs.
"Good luck trying to get her to fit the bill!" I yelled back.
We all started fidgeting heavily, trying to break out, find someway to escape our perilous fate. But we were almost out of time.
And there was no way out.
Next week... Senior's plan exposed in detail and Zita's love for adventure!
[Content Note: Sexism.]
From Peggy Drexler's "When mom earns more, it's tough on dad" at CNN:
But the answer, of course, isn't for women to revert to their traditional roles of cooking, cleaning and tending to the children while the man of the house is off bringing home the bacon. As more and more women rise to powerful positions in the workplace, the incidence of female breadwinners will continue to grow.
Husbands of these wives who may be experiencing feelings of depression and low self-esteem would be wise to have an honest conversation with their spouse, and themselves, to find out what's really bothering them. Oftentimes, it may not be the fact that their spouse earns more, but that their spouse may have less time to spend at home, or may be neglecting other areas of the relationship.Ha ha perfect. Often, what's causing female-partnered Western men to feel shitty when they're making less than a woman is not ancient, patriarchal, gender-essentialist narratives about men with which they've been socialized since birth and the unearned privilege that can engender feelings of deep insecurity at the merest hint of that privilege being threatened or eroded, but the possibility that their female partner is somehow failing them.
Amazing.
And yes, of course, sure, certainly, sometimes in relationships someone works so hard, by choice or necessity, that it can take a toll on the relationship. But let us not pretend that the primary source of all this male angst is neglect by female partners, especially when what is often called "neglect" is in reality "failing to come home from earning more money and act sufficiently submissive by performing traditionally female tasks in order to reassure a man earning less money that he is still the boss of you."
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"@dmond 1383 Demond #thingsgirlswantboystodo be superman, Bill Gates, Mandingo, Chris Deep-fry, and Casanova"I inhibit no idea who Mandingo is. Best of the time I would look it up, but I inhibit a feeling if I do a search on Mandingo, Google may show me similes that my mind won't be able to unsee, and that just doesn't enclose abuse it. Superman is made-up, so I'll shady that is what the relationship should be. At the rear that, I symbol that ladies want the looks of Bill Gates, the abuse tendencies of Chris Deep-fry, and the alcoholism of Casanova. Got it.
"@dmond 1383 Demond #thingsgirlswantboystodo be no matter which the bear guy wasnt"In the role of if she just got out of a relationship with Mandingo?
"@dmond 1383 Demond #thingsgirlswantboystodo be man enough to be a man"Are we back to being like Chris Deep-fry and pulsation women, because if so, I get it. Warn your lady how manly you are by kissing her float up with your fists. Downfall your lady shows her how appreciably you care about her. Somewhat simple stuff.
"@dmond 1383 Demond #thingsgirlswantboystodo make her feel you do not just want her for sex."So less sex and expand slam into stuff? Demond, we are totally on the fantastically mass.
-Joe
P.S. I inhibit no idea of Casanova was an compulsive (I honestly don't identify at all about Casanova), but it seemed inborn that he drank. Let's float up it, you credibly nodded your C.E.O. in concession. Investigate is for suckers.
P.P.S. These are two older belongings girls want boys to do, but despondently you inhibit to be Taj Gibson to withdraw it off.
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