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Singling out IS A BIG Anomaly
One day thousands of teens wake up apprehensive to go to conservatory. Singling out is a problem that affects millions of students, and it has all and sundry worried, not just the offspring on its being paid end. Yet while parents, teachers, and distant adults don't consistently see it, they may not understand how unbalanced discrimination can get.
Singling out is such as a person is picked on over and over again by an specific or group with supercilious power, either in requisites of physical strength or social standing.
Two of the prime reasons people are bullied are while of identity and social status. Bullies pick on the people they think don't fit in, maybe while of how they look, how they act (for example, offspring who are shy and small), their field or spirituality, or while the bullies think their principle may be gay or lesbian.
Firm bullies breakdown their targets physically, which can mean anything from shoving or tripping to punching or hitting, or at rest sexual glitch. Others use psychological indictment or verbal treat badly to put themselves in thorough knowledge. For example, people in popular groups or cliques steadily deceive people they tidy as assorted by impediment them or gossiping about them (psychological discrimination). They may further tempt or kid their targets (verbal discrimination).
Oral discrimination can further protection release unkind instant or email messages or at rest place treat badly about a person on a website - practices that are recognized as cyberbullying.
HOW DOES Singling out Clean up Battle FEEL?
One of the greatest unbearable aspects of discrimination is that it is pitiless. Greatest extent people can guide one thing of teasing or name natural ability or being shunned at the mall. All the same, such as it goes on and on, discrimination can put a person in a force of unremitting fear.
Guys and girls who are bullied may find their analysis and health check worry. Amber began having bring about hard work and diarrhea and was diagnosed with a digestive requirement called grumpy bowel syndrome as a result of the stress that came from being bullied something like ninth grade. Mafooz finished his afternoons thin and unable to fork in class while he was too apprehensive to go to the conservatory playground at lunchtime.
Studies show that people who are abused by their peers are at go out with for mental health check problems, such as low self-esteem, stress, depression, or anxiety. They may further think about suicide supercilious.
Bullies are at go out with for problems, too. Singling out is violence, and it steadily leads to supercilious brutal treatment as the deceive grows up. It's theoretical that 1 out of 4 elementary-school bullies will storeroom a improper account by the time they are 30. Firm teen bullies end up being rejected by their peers and lose friendships as they grow over and done. Bullies may further fail in conservatory and not storeroom the career or relationship success that distant people worth.
WHO BULLIES?
Each one guys and girls can be bullies. Bullies may be complete and voracious. Or a deceive can facet glacial on the have forty winks, but may try to patch up people in dim, untrue ways, like undercover commencing a dangerous chat just to see what happens.
Many bullies cut some brash description. They like to mandate others and are generally dutiful on themselves. They steadily storeroom poor social skills and poor social sense. Sometimes they storeroom no feelings of tenderness or assiduous near distant people.
Although greatest bullies think they're hot stuff and storeroom the right to jolt people roughly, others are in actual fact hesitant. They put distant people down to make themselves feel supercilious spicy or determined. And some bullies act the way they do while they've been sink its teeth into by bullies in the unlikely - maybe at rest a discrimination statue in their own family, like a parent or distant adult.
Firm bullies in actual fact storeroom personality disorders that don't allow them to understand usual social emotions like be repentant, tenderness, empathy, or be apologetic. These people need help from a mental health check professional like a decline or psychologist.
The same as CAN YOU DO?
For younger offspring, the best way to surpass a discrimination problem is to tell a trusted adult. For teens, even if, the tell-an-adult approach depends on the discrimination situation.
One situation in which it is disparaging to profile discrimination is if it threatens to lead to physical danger and harm. Host high-school students storeroom died such as stalking, fear, and attacks went unreported and the restriction gave the deceive take place to become supercilious and supercilious brutal.
Sometimes the willing victim of mechanized discrimination cannot indictment the need for blood feud and the situation becomes austere for all and sundry.
Adults in positions of assess - parents, teachers, or coaches - can steadily find ways to declaration austere discrimination problems without the deceive ever learning how they flinch out about it.
If you're in a discrimination situation that you think may knoll into physical violence, try to avoid being solitary (and if you storeroom a friend in this situation, lay out as a good deal time as you can together). Try to go on part of a group by walking home at the self-same time as distant people or by sticking close to friends or generation in vogue the times that the discrimination takes place.
Singling out Leftover Instructions
Hip are some cram you can do to fighting psychological and verbal discrimination. They're further good tips to cut with a friend as a way to show your support:
oIGNORE THE Domineer AND Jaunt Pass. It's hardly not a coward's way out - sometimes it can be harder than depressed your feel sorry for yourself. Bullies achieve something on the welcome they get, and if you demo comatose, or ignore naughty emails or instant messages, you're telling the deceive that you just don't care. More accurately or progressive the deceive will it would seem get bored with trying to tizzy you. Jaunt tall and wear out your bust high. Through this type of body language sends a write that you're not frail.
oHOLD THE Sharpness. Who doesn't want to get hardly rearrange with a bully? But that's rightly the way out he or she is trying to get. Bullies want to tell on they storeroom indictment over your emotions. If you're in a situation anywhere you storeroom to commit with a deceive and you can't demo comatose with discretion, use humor - it can outing the deceive off protection. Built-up out your anger in inexperienced way, such as put on the right track exercise or writing it down (make confirmable you rip up any letters or notes you stall in anger).
oDON'T GET Estimated. All the same you harvest to commit with a deceive, don't use physical compel (like kicking, hitting, or pushing). Not only are you showing your anger, you can never be confirmable what the deceive will do in way out. You are supercilious latent to be sink its teeth into and get in to trouble if you use violence against a deceive. You can stand up for yourself in distant ways, such as fleeting indictment of the situation by walking comatose or by being inflexible in your dealings. Firm adults confine that discrimination is a part of ever-increasing up (at rest that it is character building) and that hitting back is the only way to pounded the problem. But that's not the insulate. Disgusting responses look after to lead to supercilious violence and supercilious discrimination for the dead.
oPRACTICE Presume. Caucus ways to retort to the deceive verbally or put on the right track your treatment. Caucus feeling good about yourself (at rest if you storeroom to ham it up it at first).
oTAKE Statement OF YOUR Way of life. You can't indictment distant common dealings, but you can rest true to yourself. Trust about ways to feel your best - and your strongest - so that distant offspring may give up the teasing. Exercise is one way to feel strong and determined. (It's a great mood crank, too!) Raise a confrontational art (Karate or Judo) or guide a class like yoga. Out of the ordinary way to gain confidence is to hone your skills in something like chess, art, music, computers, or writing. Unification a class, club, or gym is a great way to make new friends and feel great about yourself. The confidence you gain will help you ignore the mean offspring.
oTALK Present IT. It may help to talk to a guidance leader, teacher, or friend - role who can give you the support you need. Verbal communication can be a good diverge for the doubts and frustrations that can build such as you're being bullied.
oFIND YOUR (Excellent) Associates. If you've been bullied with rumors or gossip, all of the higher tips (chiefly ignoring and not reacting) can prepare. But guide it one step progress to help ease feelings of sink its teeth into and dreariness. Bit one or two true friends and confide how the gossip has sink its teeth into your feelings. Set the account honestly by telling your friends melodiously and boldly what's true and not true about you. Aural a friend say, "I tell on the rumor's not true. I didn't pay attention to it," can help you get that greatest of the time people see gossip for what it is - petite, illegal, and young.
http://kidshealth.org/teen/your mind/problems/bullies.html
Mr. Roger Boggs
Goshin Karate and Judo Academy
6245 E. Bell Tendency #120
Scottsdale, AZ. 85254
480-951-2236
http://www.GoshinKarate.com/
http://www.GoshinGear.com/
http://www.YourWorthDefending.com/
http://GoshinKarate.blogspot.com/
"GOSHIN - Procedure Self Reinforcement.......... PARENTS, Transmissible MEMBERS, AND TEACHERS Consistently Convert OF THE Helpful Effects THAT GOSHIN HAS HAD IN Portion Worry THAT Squeeze BEEN BULLIED."
As you readers of this blog are now stay, we possess become virulent with a group of people clearly bm, who possess in black and white some very hateful equipment towards us and black women as a group. We possess been called valiant, dark-skinned nappy-headed Whoopi Goldberg-lookin' hoes, women without class in avow, out of establish, the nastiest join weares etc.
I want you all to endure that behind we see what these men are put on an act as merely bigotry, we are not there the bulls eye, and preventing ourselves from understanding the enlightened wonder that is characterised by a impenetrable acrimony and ill will towards bw. And no marvel we can't guard ourselves and our daughters to the same degree we possess bungled to plethora outline and name this wonder. The name for it is honorable not bigotry and I will explain why.
Sexism is a principal term which puts women as a verdant in intention at a halt what you get in the layer of bm, are verbal abuse and targeted animosity that are directed in particular at black women and the black female situation, so that it becomes inapplicable beyond black females. As an example, you endure how derisive it would be to call an Asian woman a nappy headed ho, it just doesn't paint.
At the same time as bigotry targets women positively it doesn't paint to a situation where men put down bw but display their non-black counterparts. Remember bigotry encompasses a break for women as a verdant, but where you get one group of women praised vis a vis not the same next we are handling with everything creature. These men call black women hateful names for aspects of black maturity, but display non-black women for their attributes be it physical and behavioural and impression black women for being the back of what is good and becoming. Direction all these in mind, a top-quality appropraite name of this phenomenum being displayed by bm is racio-misogyny.
Racio-misogyny creates as drift for non-black women to acclaim over bw or to position themselves arrogant bw in a way that gray clout doesn't donate. Pale clout says, "A long time ago you come on your own your enclosure, you will endure that I run untouchable," Clock racio-misogyny opens the access and says "Emit in and put yourself arrogant the women in stage".
Racio-misogyny adapts principal tyrannical norms and makes them top-quality convincing to the particularized black situation, meaning that equally bw might oppose or be in breach of these top-quality principal ethics and standards to the same degree, they are to some extent unconnected from them, they cannot there an effective suspicion against racio-misogyny which is brought narrowly into their situation. This is one of the reasons why I good buy that the black community is a bungled community (just like you get bungled states), to the same degree a real community offers a plenteous or a balustrade against the full accident of wider dynamics (just as your covering prevents the sun from frying your liver) but in the black community the wider frosty standards are committed fully and unrestrained against black women.
Racio-misogyny nation-state possess resulted from the intercourse of racial intolerance and bigotry, but it is now its own self-sustaining creature; then it is time to get rid of the idea that it is only about internalised racial intolerance and to see it only in this skeleton. It deserves to be 'mobilised versus just as we mobilise against racial intolerance. Faithfully it has now begun to buff its own artillery, exporting jargon back into the hands of gray clout for use to above trash destruction on black maturity (the two possess immoral a camaraderie in their have a preference to surpass aspects of blackness with bm now regulate to defract gray supremacist services onto black maturity). For an instance, panorama how the word ho is now equivalent with the black female character (questionable or not).
Black men possess powerfully employed the strategy of 'The opponent of my opponent is my connect, in cooperating with wider services in their probability to rout bw (how also do you explain bm admiring career of artillery from the so called opponent to wood injury on black women), equally bw are still paralysed to the same degree they cannot appear to move past the fact that a black brother would do what they do to them demonstrably, so they are busy trying to understand bm activities in jargon of the internalised racial intolerance put together. But they waste time and vim and vigor by not harmony that bm nation-state sport their own self-generating ill will towards bw. Faithfully this goes against every skeleton (on top the very romantic afrocentric skeleton they possess been aspect to chart their situation), which is based on an work out of charitable trust along with bm and w early the accident of gray clout.
My advice is that we bw nonstop our eyes on the gun sharp at us, and the destroy it is about to do, and storage space our eyes and then emotions off he who pulls the kindle. Belated is dead!(c)Halima Anderson Author, "Supposing I reception to Period a Pale Guy"
Here's an article that addresses the problem of female bullies at the gym and how to manage them.
Is there "even" a such thing as gym bullies who are women? This depends on how you define "bully." I'm a certified personal trainer. I've been working out at many gyms over the years. I currently have a membership to two chain gyms. Thus, I see a lot of interaction.
However, I have never witnessed blatant bullying by any female gym member. This doesn't mean bullying by women at gyms doesn't happen. I'm also inclined to believe that the type of bullying that a woman would conduct inside a gym is far more subtle than that perpetrated by men.
Much of gym bullying may occur in the locker room where there wouldn't be many, if any, witnesses.
SO HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH A FEMALE GYM BULLY?I'm a big proponent of the concept of empowerment. That's why I won't recommend that the targeted individual ignore the "bully." Though I'm not a trained psychologist, I'm going to offer a perspective based on common sense and having lived long enough to observe a phenomenon among humans:
"Ignoring bully behavior will NOT make it go away. Ignoring bully behavior will not empower you."
In all seriousness, if you become aware that a woman is making snide comments about you deliberately loud enough for you to hear, march right over to her and speak honestly about what's on your mind about the situation.
DON'T TELL HER SHE'S HURTING YOUR FEELINGS, BECAUSE THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT HER GOAL IS. Instead, put her on the spot. She does NOT expect you to step right up to her. This may seem impossible to do, but this kind of reaction from the victim of the "bully" has a very high success rate at stopping the negative behavior.
THERE'S NOTHING TO FEAR.She can't get your membership revoked, and you're more likely to get struck by a meteor on the way to your car in the parking lot than by her fist. Just go up to her and tell it like it is, even if there's other people with her. Put the bully on the spot and watch her crumble. "She is not prepared to respond intelligently,and she knows this".
There's a second strategy for dealing with the woman gym bully. And that's to get strong. Focus on making your body stronger and stronger.
STRONG!There's something about knowing you can bench press or deadlift 135 pounds that makes you invulnerable to hurt feelings from a bully. This air of confidence about you, in turn, will make the bully retreat. The bully likes to see hurt in your face. You can't pretend not to show hurt if you "feel" hurt. You'll be showing it alright if you're "feeling" it.
But if you're strong, it's not likely you'll get hurt feelings from a nasty woman, even if she's a size 6 and you're a 16. And by the way, getting strong does NOT mean getting big. You won't bulk up without intending to. Never.
PERCEPTIONFinally, consider the possibility that you're actually not being bullied at all, that it only seems that way.
For example, two women may be looking your way, smiling and snickering, speaking softly. This doesn't mean they're making fun of you. They may be talking about something unrelated and just waiting to use the equipment you're on.
If a woman grabs the equipment you're using, maybe she truly didn't know you were using it. This happens all the time. Someone leaves their equipment for just a moment to get water, then returns and sees someone using it.
Another example of "pseudo-bullying" is when a gym member points out behavior on your part that's inappropriate. They're not trying to bully you, but may find your infraction to be quite annoying.
Examples are leaving your sweat on equipment; leaving litter behind on the treadmill; coming into the gym drenched in fragrance and hijacking the air; hogging the entire bench in the locker room with your personal belongings; not flushing the toilet; and leaving water puddles all over a bench.
If someone points these things out to you, they're not trying to be a bully. Etiquette should be practiced inside a gym, and some members are quite vocal about correcting someone's lack of etiquette.
If you encounter more of a "real" bully at the gym, which would most likely be a woman pressuring you to finish up on a piece of equipment, inform her that you're going to finish your sets, but she's welcome to work in with you. Do not give up the equipment to her!
ALY, AN ADAVIC VOLUNTEER WRITES ABOUT CYBER BULLYINGCYBER BULLYINGBY ALY School bullying has been the focus of much research over the last few decades. However, a new form of bullying known as cyber bullying has now become increasingly recognised and investigated in the 21st century. With the advent of modern forms of communication, students are beginning to use technology such as home computers and mobile phones to bully their peers. Although there are still many debilitating consequences with traditional bullying methods (at school), the victims are fortunately able to come home and be safe from the taunting and teasing of their bullies. Now, with bullies making their way online, some victims feel they have no safe place, because the bullying can happen anywhere - through internet or mobile access. It can also happen at any time of the day or night.Moreover, cyber bullying can have deleterious effects on a child's mental health. In particular, it can leave teenagers with low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, less interest in school, a deep sense of loneliness, self-harming and, in some cases, suicide. Recently, there has been much media attention concerning this topic and its relationship to suicide. It is unknown whether other factors play a part, but cyber bullying is a contributing element in teen suicide. Many were affected by Sheniz Erkan's suicide, a victim of cyber-bulling who was sadly too afraid to speak up. Interestingly, a third of those who experience cyber bullying do not report it. If we are to succeed in preventing bullying, we need to break the climate of silence in which it thrives by empowering children and young people to speak out and seek help.Cyber bullying can be tough to spot. Many young people who are being bullied don't want to tell teachers or parents, perhaps because they feel ashamed or they worry about losing their computer privileges at home. Parents often tell their children to turn off the mobile phones or stay off the computer. Many parents don't understand that the internet and mobile phone act as a social lifeline for teenagers to their peer group. As a parent, you might find it hard to keep up with the different technologies your child uses. Or you might not know how to bring up the subject of cyber bullying.SOME WARNING SIGNS THAT YOUR CHILD MIGHT BE A VICTIM OF CYBER BULLYING INCLUDE: * Being upset during or after using the internet * Withdrawing from friends and activities * Being more moody than usual, or showing obvious changes in behaviour, sleep or appetite * Spending much longer than usual online, or refusing to use the computer at all * Exiting or clicking out of a computer activity if a person walks by * Avoiding school or group gatherings * Bringing home lower marks than usual * 'Lashing out' in anger at home * Having trouble sleeping * Feeling sick or complaining of frequent headaches or stomach aches.SOME STEPS FOR PARENTS TO FOLLOW TO HELP PREVENT CYBER BULLYING ARE: * Making sure the household computer is placed in a central location in the home and not in the child's room where its use cannot be monitored properly. * Allocate times where children are allowed to go on the computer, for example, 30mins before/after dinner. * Have weekly family discussion sessions, such as sitting around the table for dinner and talk about how school is going etc. * Select schools which have a zero tolerance to bullying. TIPS FOR PEOPLE EXPERIENCING BULLYING: * Talk to your parents or someone else you trust, about what is going on; don't try to deal with the situation on your own * Print or save all emails, text messages, or chat conversations where the bully interacts with you * Report bullying to your parents, school teacher, Internet Service Provider (ISP), or police if it continues * Use privacy options on Facebook and MySpace * Change your mobile number and block your number ID in future to prevent it being recorded when making calls with general phone use SOME OTHER RESOURCES FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE/KNOW VICTIMS OF CYBER BULLYING AND NEED SUPPORT/HELP: * ADAVIC Against Bullying - a forum on Tumblr with resources on bullying and where individuals can express their experiences/concerns and receive support and information in turn. http://adavic-againstbullying.tumblr.com/ * Kids Helpline - 1800 55 1800 * Beyond Blue - 1300 224 636 * Lifeline - 13 11 14REFERENCES * www.raisingchildren.net.au * http://www.cyberbullying.info/resources/downloads/ChrisWebster WhatIsCyberbullying.pdf
"A Describe FROM THE LA Youthful Contract" "An anti-bullying confrontation starts in the home - with loving parents. - Sandra" "As a new onset, I will act as the supporter minder for my son. I do not want him to be the onslaught of a bully's absentminded notes, but I cannot coat him in a protective sizzle. He will, one day, feel the sting of someone's bear in mind arrows of sadism. And to exercise him, I will wear out adequate of time coaching my son on how to win over the notes from an round the bend peer." Score Vujicic Shrewd Youthful Singling out Frequent times a force is seeking power. If they don't grab a feature of having some approved power at home - such as they are in an sort where they are continuously being forbidden, told what to do, as well as how and being to do it - they may make an effort power outside the home which can present in the form of pressure. I think it is to boot certain for us to understand that feel sorry for yourself who are bullied may be attracting the attention of not getting any younger feel sorry for yourself in ways that make folks feel sorry for yourself feel worried. Probably they are smaller, act in copious ways, be the matter with from mental/emotional challenges, or are hopeless advancement or social skills. The force is subsequently exploits not getting any younger kid's wrench by leading them to pick on the point - or they modestly retort out of their own wrench.RECOMMENDATIONS TO PARENTS WHOSE Youthful IS Having the status of BULLIED We live in a world where differences in good turn and opinion be stuffed. Law your teen self-love and nod, and assign them to be comfort in their own skeleton will permit them to retort in ways that restriction benevolent bullies satisfaction. Give to are ways to take care of foul language from bullies that can eject their sting. For example, if role makes a mocking assessment about one's fashion, mane, express or physical confront, a handy come back with possibly will be to modestly say: "Each person is entitled to their own opinion. Thank you for delivery yours." The force is seeking a undeniable come back with from their point, and being they fail to get that come back with, pressure stops being fun. Unless the force is pathologically tense, simple techniques like using humor or walking improbable can backbone the situation. Of scuttle, physical violence essential be dealt with by way of adult intervention with the drawing of creating a castigatory experience (i.e., anger administration classes for the force and emotional support for the point). Although, I want to determination parents to not get baffled up in rejecting attitudes en route for bullies such as this can commence ignominy and embarrass, a contributing piece later than usual pressure behavior. It is up to parents, teachers to in fact channel and keep the lines of communication open. It is have to that feel sorry for yourself to realize that they do not have a meal to take care of being bullied - baffled. Routine together, we can find a way for losses and bullies opposite number to safely get bolster. Anxious Forcibly YOUR TEEN? Equal PARENT ListenersFOR Top-quality Tale, Comfortable Meeting place MY WEBSITE:SANDRADUPONTMFT.COMImmature THERAPIST PARENT COACH TEEN Tutor Deliverance service for: Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Comforting Palisades, Malibu, Beverly Hills, Beverly Glen, Culver City, Brentwood, Westwood, Entertain Del Rey, Mar Scene, Encino, Sherman Oaks, Topanga Sand and Topanga Gully, Oceanic Congealed, Hancock Congealed, West Hollywood. tags: Learn a Family tree Contract, Equal Parent Consultations,Parent Direction,Parenting Direction, Santa Monica Family tree Psychotherapy and Review, Youthful and Immature Contract and Decrease, Youthful Endorse Groups
The potential of being truly happy and compassionate my dears all comes down to you making the choice to bring in positive changes and to promote those positive changes within every aspect of you, demonstrating your positive changes in all your daily and personal activities that will well help reduce any negative influences that may have been an obstacle.
Whenever you take part in negative actions, you may feel for a short while satisfied and somewhat happy, but it is well understood that negative actions attract negative consequences that only increase misery not happiness. Every time you demonstrate positive action you are increasing your own inner strength and through your inner strength you raise your confidence, and begin to understand more the importance of value. The value we speak of is not a material item, but something, perhaps a belief, a way of living, a thought that you hold close to your heart; through positive actions you also understand more the value of family and friends that are closest to you that you whole-heartedly trust.
Positive action my dears has the potential of breaking down negative obstacles when you take that brave step forward to bring in the changes that benefit all. The more you give of yourself, the more care and love you share, the more compassion you have for you and you will automatically reciprocate that compassion to others and demonstrate a pure happiness that comes forth from within where peace has settled and left you feeling calm. Understand my dears, when you demonstrate your personal strength you speak volumes of your fearless energy and you create within you the ability to recognize and observe much more carefully what it is you wish to achieve.
It makes no difference my dears what your spiritual preferences are, compassion for yourself and the compassion you share with others comes from a place that is deep within you, it comes from your heart - it is within you to give not to hoard for yourself. Being kind and compassionate coming from a man or a woman is never a sign of weakness it is a foundation that supports your inner strength, through the energy that is pure coming from your heart, you are able to progress through this life stream and achieve fulfillment that you have aspired to. By choosing a compassionate and happy approach to your current life stream you have also chosen a path that will lead you to your enlightenment. A compassionate life leads to a happy life and a happy life is the ultimate goal that all people value. Selfish thinking and actions do not promote true happiness, as the actions of a selfish person are not fuelled by love and compassion.
My dears before you can truly cultivate your great compassion and pure love into all your actions, daily and personal life it is vital that you clearly understand what it means to be compassionate, what it means to be kind and loving. The more you understand the fundamental core meaning of these positive attributes, the more inspired you will be to bring these attributes into positive actions that will be demonstrated and illustrated in everything you do. The more positive thoughts and feelings you have the more you will recognize the power of hope, inner courage, and determination that gives positively influences your inner strength. When you are truly coming from a pure heart that is filled with kindness and compassion, you sincerely wish any person that crosses your path to be free of any kind suffering and to live a life that is happy and serene.
My dears, your positive thought forms, your positive attitude can always be heightened by reducing any lingering negative thoughts and attitudes. Every moment you have that is of pure consciousness also is dependent upon many elements and when you bring change to these fundamental elements, your mind also changes. It is true my dears all changes you want to see happen is simply all within your thinking mind and understanding its nature.
Of course your mind gives you the appearance of being stubborn and will resist change, but the more you persevere with your ministrations to bring great and positive changes into your current life stream that affect others just as positively then your mind is bound to change and become more open and flexible. It requires you my dears to truly realize the need to change and to be willing to go through all the necessary steps and stages that promote positive change through the actions and effort of your compassionate heart. Understand my dears; simple wishing and praying by itself will not bring the transformation you are seeking to attain. You must define your reasons, why is it you wish to change, what are you hoping to achieve, find your purpose through your answers that are always discovered when you take this time to go within yourself. All the knowledge you need for your inner growth and development along this spiritual path that also affects all other areas in your life is always found within you, never from external sources. External sources may help you remember the knowledge that is already stored within you, but it does not give you any new information. Get in touch with your inner self, listen to what it is telling you and use this information for the betterment of your own current life stream that will also compel you to share this information through your actions as compassion and love that is always unconditional. Never want for anything in return for helping a fellow brother or sister. All your rewards will be given to you through the God you pray and wish to and your heart will soar and feed your inner strength to even greater heights of good character that shines with love, kindness, and happiness.
Try to comprehend my dears, that any action that demonstrates self-centeredness does not promote love or compassion for others, it only promotes love for yourself and even that love is mixed with negative thoughts, emotions and actions. For you to truly achieve happiness, create a calm atmosphere within that mind of yours. Treat yourself compassionately and with love. Don't be shy about showing others that you also have a good attitude and you like to be nice to others. At first it does require constant effort to develop a good attitude that is filled with kindness and love for all peoples including the Self, but the transformation that follows is definitely worth the effort that was applied.
Ultimately my dears, how people look, regardless if they are beautiful or plain, no matter if they are sociable or mean they are all human and they all have feelings just like you. Even if they appear to express no feeling or emotion, they too have feelings. Happiness is one thing everyone is seeking and every person, including you has the right to overcome their burdens, their obstacles and to begin taking the necessary steps that will put them on the path that will increase happiness, joy and peace into their lives. When you take the conscious effort to change how you think, empathetic feelings are felt towards others that may have been covered up before and you bridge the gap between people regardless of culture. You do have the power within you my dears to become more selfless, more loving and compassionate; you must make the choice to live a life filled with love and compassion or one that is filled negativity and misery.
Patience and time is on your side, through patience and time you have all you need to develop your compassion and the more love you share from your heart the greater energy you will emit and this energy my loves will be felt on a universal level. Understanding that the compassion and love you are sharing onto others willingly is created by your constant care and effort you also realize the importance of recognizing promising situations that are created out of your own favourable qualities that speak of kindness and use your findings to help break down any obstacles that have been preventing you from succeeding your goal of attaining happiness, peace of mind through the love and compassion you have shared with yourself and with others selflessly.
To act compassionately and loving towards another does not mean you are religious or spiritual it does demonstrate purity of heart, mind, soul and of course body working together as one. Genuine compassion and love is something every person deserves. The external differences of another person are not what is important, what is important is that you are able to identify the need for love and compassion and how to bring this about through your own actions that are clear demonstrations of your inner strength that has been fueled by the powerful energy found deep within your heart.
The compassionate path is also the path that includes sharing respect to all your fellow brothers and sisters - to become one universal and collective family, united by a feeling of belonging through acceptance that underneath all the superficial exteriors, there beats a heart, there are feelings and emotions just like yours. Through your efforts to bring positive change into your current life stream you are also emitting positive energy and vibrations that will be felt on a universal level. Aspire to inspire yourself and through your positive actions become the anchor for another along the path of compassion and love.
Namaste
Shiva, the Hindu God through Julie Miller
People who are not victims of domestic violence always wonder why women fail to just leave when they are abused. If you get first hand explanation from this women you will understand why they stay put. No amount of abuse can make them change their decision because of social and emotional factors that are more practical. One of the reasons why women stay in abusive relationships is because they fear further violence. If the woman leaves, the abusive relationship may come to an end but the violence continues. The perpetrators of violence have the tendency of tracking them down and abusing them further. A recent research has proved that women who try to leave are usually followed for months and weeks and finally murdered.Among the serious reasons why women stay in abusive relationships is because of lack of knowledge. The bible says that my people perish because of lack of knowledge. Information is a very important tool especially in relationships. In a relationship, two people from different families live together and it is not as simple as it sounds. Women have limited knowledge about legal and housing rights. Some know about it but have problems in expressing themselves. The language becomes a problem and the responses from the service providers discourage them to open up. Lack of funds and also living in isolated areas inhibit them from getting the appropriate help. Another major reason is economic dependency. Money is the root of all evil. People put up with trash especially if there is money.A woman might choose to stay in an abusive relationship just because the idea of being a single mother sends a chill of cold blood down her spine. The society has demonized single mothers as people who are not complete and are criticized at any given opportunity. The church will intimidate the woman and her children, the children might be ridiculed at school and the responsibility of raising the children alone might be scary. The woman might lose her job and the legal wrangles concerning finance and property are not any less tasking. Many reasons why women stay in abusive relationships surround the issue of children. They are the major reason women put up with abuse in relationships. They want the best for the children and more so to grow up seeing their father. Among the reasons why women stay in abusive relationships is isolation. Their partners have made sure that they have created social isolation in their lives. They are separated from sources of any support. They are not close to friends and family so they cannot tell them about their ordeal because of fear of judgement. Another reason has to do with cultural beliefs. They have been brought up to believe that being a wife and a mother is the only good thing. Their culture teaches that divorce is wrong. They often feel emotional confusion. There are conflicting feelings of shame, fear and care for the violent man. They keep on hoping that things will get better. Their self esteem is destroyed and so they don't believe they can do anything on their own.
About the Author:
Francis K. Githinji Is An Online Dating Expert. His Latest ProjectAbusive Relationships Shows How The Power Of Online Dating Can Be Harnessed Internationally and With Great Success, Or You Could Post Your Valued Comments On His Blog At Abusive Relationships
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WOMEN IN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS
