BUILDING RAPPORT - COMMUNICATION EXCELLENCE THROUGH TRUST
LEARNING HOW TO BUILD RAPPORT CAN HELP IMPROVE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS AND COMMUNICATION IN ALL ASPECTS OF YOUR LIFE. Where two or more people have created a strong rapport and are understanding each other clearly, there is the potential for communication that is well developed and meaningful.
RAPPORT: THE BASICS
Some people believe that rapport is simply the ability to communicate clearly and effectively.
Rapport is the ability to establish empathy between audience and speaker or customer and sales agent or employer and employee.
Others feel that rapport happens when they dominate a conversation (this is not rapport). Still others feel that they have established rapport as long as they manage to get their point across.
Rapport is much more than any of these.
It is in part, good and effective communication, but it isn't simply a matter of a good conversation.
Rapport is the ability to establish empathy between audience and speaker.
It is the creation of a state of shared feelings and meaning. This state makes good communication easier.
It isn't domination of a conversation, though when you build rapport you do have the ability to lead your audience in a direction of your choosing.
O Build rapport in an interview and you are more likely to land a job.
O Build rapport with a customer service agent and you might walk away with lower prices or better service.
O Build rapport with your audience and you will have the chance to deliver effective and meaningful communication.
RAPPORT - INTERNAL AND EXTERNAL
You may not realize that it is possible to be in rapport with yourself as well as with your audience.
This is internal rapport - a state where you are happy and content with your feelings and thoughts toward a given situation.
It is a state of oneness, where you are comfortable 'in your skin' and reflect that comfort to the world around you.
When you are in rapport with yourself, you are also more in tune with your audience and better able to interpret feedback and adjust your content so that it is meaningful.
"Internal rapport is a state of oneness, where you are comfortable 'in your skin' and reflect that comfort to the world around you."Your audience, whether it's one person or a thousand, will quickly be able to determine whether you are in rapport with yourself, which is why it is more important than ever that you use these techniques to feel confident and secure.
External rapport is the atmosphere of trust that you develop with your audience.
Do you have the ability to establish rapport? Of course you do, you have already done so many times throughout your life. You simply haven't recognized what you were doing.
Have you ever for example engaged in a conversation with someone where the two of you were naturally in sync?
You may have felt as if you were almost speaking with your thoughts as much as with your words. That's a good state of rapport.
You can easily build that same external rapport by design with one other person or a group of people.
SIX WAYS TO BUILD RAPPORT
Here are six things you could do to build rapport with someone.
"u MATCH THEIR WORDS: People like to have relationships with those who think and behave like themselves, or even with those who have similar background.
Matching the way others think and talk is a good way to build rapport with them.
Take note of the indicator words that the person is using that indicate their sensory preferences (such as visual, auditory or kinesthetic) and use similar words/phrases in your communication.
"u MATCH THEIR PHYSIOLOGY: Have you ever noticed that a group of teenagers who are friends bear similarities in their clothing, vocabulary and movements?
People who are in rapport have a tendency to dress in a similar way or have matching body language.
Matching the physiology of someone you're talking to can make him/her feel comfortable.
Copying the person's posture, facial expressions, hand gestures, movements and even their eye blinking, will cause their body to say unconsciously to their mind that this person is like me!
There is slight difference between mirroring and matching.
For example if you hold up your right hand and I do the same, I am matching you.
If I hold up my left hand, I am mirroring you as it is as though you are looking in a mirror.
Cross-over matching is where I match with a different part of my body - e.g. if you are tapping your fingers, I can tap my feet.
"u MATCH THEIR VOICE: You should match the tone, tempo, timbre and the volume of the person's voice. If the person is slow and deliberate, he will feel comfortable if you are the same way.
"Building rapport with someone will cause their body to say unconsciously to their mind that this person is like me! "
You should also try, when you speak, to use the keywords that they use a lot.
For examples: "Alright", "Actually", "You know what I mean".
"u MATCH THEIR BREATHING: If there is a big difference in the breathing pattern of two people in conversation, both of them would feel uncomfortable.
If you want to build rapport with someone, you need to match the rhythm of breathing of the other person by moving your foot or finger at the same pace.
"u MATCH HOW THEY DEAL WITH INFORMATION: Different people deal with information differently. Some are detail oriented and some prefer it brief. You need to match the other person's way of dealing with information.
If you get this wrong you will find it very difficult to build rapport as the detail-oriented person will be yearning for more information and the other type of person will soon be yawning!
"u MATCH COMMON EXPERIENCES: Suppose, you are a long way from home and met someone, who is a total stranger, and discovered he is from your own hometown.
Before long, you will find yourself in a very lively conversation with the guy, looking for experiences in common.
Consider the opposite case. You are in a restaurant and everybody at your table has been served their food but you. How do you feel? Out of place?
This is all about finding some commonality. If both parties have matching experiences, interests, backgrounds, values and beliefs, they have greater chance to be in rapport.
One point to bear in mind is that you need to be subtle when you are matching and mirroring. Be careful not to exceed the limits. Typically, however, the other person will not notice it.
You can develop your ability to observe other people to such an extent that you will begin to see and even predict people's reactions to communications.
This is known as calibration and is a way of determining whether you are in rapport with someone.
LEADING
Once you have established rapport, you can start changing your audience's viewpoint to more closely match your own. This is called leading.
Do this slowly, and you will elicit a positive response.
You will notice your audience starting to adopt your mannerisms and enthusiasm.
Leading is simply the ability to direct an audience's feelings, thoughts, emotions and responses in a direction that favors your message.
"Once you have established rapport, you can start changing your audience's viewpoint to more closely match your own. "
Once you have mastered the skills of rapport building, you will find that you can lead virtually anyone and any group, large or small, in the direction you wish. Why? Rapport helps build trust.
When people trust in you they are more likely to listen to what you have to say, empathize with you and take on your ideas, intentions and meaning. Rapport can be used to lead most audiences in a positive manner.
PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT
As with most things, rapport-building techniques become more effective the more you use them so it's important that you practice whenever possible. And it can be a lot of fun!
Consider working in small groups or one-on-one with a close friend before trying this on an important audience.
You can practice building rapport with strangers at the grocery store or even in line at the coffee shop.
In fact, the best people to try your new skills on are strangers, because your rapport building skills will be most useful when you are speaking to strangers.
To build effective rapport you must be patient and you must be an exceptional observer.
Don't spend every moment concentrating on your own actions, but instead pay close attention to those of your audience.
0 comments:
Post a Comment